Today’s tribute about Wayne is to highlight the importance living in the moment, and realising what you have…
We are so focused on what’s going on around us, if we’ve missed out on anything.
We see what others have done, what they have achieved because let’s face it facebook and Instagram is all about showing others what you’ve done, where you’ve been and what you have…
But really it’s about who’s beside you, who is there for you..
People are never really sure of their own self-worth, which can’t be measured like weight, height, ot income.
Some people obsess over social feedback more than others do, but we’re social beings who can’t ever completely ignore what other people think of us. And more that anything, inconsistent feedback drives us nuts.
People clearly value some photos more than others. Social psychologists have shown that we adopt positive ideas about ourselves more readily than we adopt negative ideas.
Many people don’t even realise what they do have, because they are always looking at what others have, or what others think.
People react so much more now, they even miss the time to celebrate their achievements, they’re already looking for the next dopamine hit.
Humans are inherently aspirational: we look ahead rather than backward, so no matter where we stand, we’ll tend to focus on people who have more. That experience produces a feeling of loss, or deprivation, relative to those of other people.
Because we live in an ‘insta’ world now, we get information instantly, we get recognition instantly, we miss the journey along the way.
We set goals, because it helps us to focus and spend our limited time and energy. But today, goals visit themselves upon us, uninvited: eg sign up for a social media account and next you’re seeking followers and likes. Get a Fitbit and you’re chasing steps per day.
Your pursuit then becomes governed by time and numbers, they come in forms of rounding numbers – you want to run fasters, a marathon ran in 4:01 is classed as a failure because you didn’t do a sub 4 hours.
But you did succeed, you ran the marathon.
You see everyone wants that bit more, placing more stress and strain on your life, again not being happy with where you are at. You could lose 5kgs and still not be happy, you wish it was 7kg etc.
Wayne was very much a laid back person in many ways, and yes he always wanted things, we all do, but Wayne realised he wouldn’t get it all, and he lived with what he had.
Yes he was competitive, but he was real.
He always said to me when I got flustered “don’t worry about it sis” and I must say he would always calm me and move on.
You can have everything, you can be involved with everything, but the lesson I learnt more when Wayne was very ill, was my family is everything, and being present with them is what I need to be involved with the most.
This picture of Wayne and Koby is beautiful, it says to me that Koby’s world is Wayne, he is his protector, (which he was) – Wayne certainly realised what he had with Koby xo
Weather you holiday in Europe, or camp along the Murray River – it’s about enjoying the time together…
We really don’t know how long our lives on Earth are, so don’t live your life through social pages, live life connecting with your family, your children, and your friends.
You realise social posts are selected, photo shopped, filtered and cropped – but they still seem to upset us, and our children can sense this emotion…
Remember this from a quote out of a great book I read:
Irresistible : by Adam Alter
‘Distracted parents cultivate distracted children, because parents who can’t focus teach their children the same attentional patterns.
Kids aren’t born craving tech, but they come to see it as indispensable.
Humans learn empathy and understanding by watching how their actions affect other people.
Empathy can’t flourish without immediate feedback, and it’s a very slow developing skill.’
– Irresistible: Adam Alter
Please try to unplug, as often as you can.
Technology is harming us, by harming our self worth xo
