Week of Wayne day 2: Family
As mentioned yesterday, we are all reminded how ‘busy’ life is…
Yes it’s a fact, but at the same time we have the same amount of hours each day as everyone else.
I find there comes a time in your life, when this penny drops, and you start to realise the importance of some things, and let go of what used to be a concern.
I know my penny dropped when Wayne got diagnosed… the situations that annoyed me once before, become irrelevant – basically FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out), was over…
My family became my life and that’s all that mattered.
Wayne taught me alot, being my only sibling, my fear of losing him gave me all sorts of anxiety, the unknown was about to happen, I was going have to survive without my big brother around, my security guard, my protector..
Growing up, Wayne and I didn’t sit down to dinner at the table with the family of a night, because Dad started working for himself, and therefore was always at work.
Mum was sometimes at meetings, helping dad, or just catching up on everything as she worked full time as well.
We lived in a more isolated area, where many of our friends lived half an hours drive away, so in some ways we felt disconnected.
As Wayne and I grew up we both ran our own businesses (like Mum and Dad), and clients came first, long hours were put in, and family gatherings such as dinner (or even breakfast), was never a ritual.
Eating alone, or on the run was our ‘normal’, reheating dinner when you could was just what you did.
There felt like there was more alone time, than time together.
But now more than ever with what I have learnt is ‘community and connection’.
It is important to spend time with others, gathering around a table, sharing stories over dinner. This gives children and other adults a sense of connection and love, feeling safe and included.
A big word thrown around at the moment is : inclusive.
This should always start within your family, to give each other that security that each other belong.
We as humans were made to move (mentioned in previous post), we were also made to belong in a tribe, to be around others and now known as communities.
Tribes shared workloads and duties to help relieve stress, to help feed and care for one another, they touched, they nurtured.
Unfortunately in today’s society we are lonely, we may be connected with the likes of social media, yet we are disconnected in touch and feelings more than ever.
I feel judgement is a huge concern again with what is shared on social media, leading to more isolation.
This leads to anxiety, depression and emotional eating.
When we start to feel like this, we send our body into a fight-n-flight mode, and the body reads this as stress. Cortisol is our stress hormone and when this is elevated all the time, hormones break down, communication between hormones do not function correctly.
When the hormones do not function, they can cause disruption to digestion, ripple effect ;- is cell damage, speeding up a chronic illness diagnosis.
This could have been a contributor to Wayne falling to Pancreatic cancer, where he has loaded his pancreas with ‘on the go food’, (Wayne did eat fast), time alone eating, feeling disconnected when his marriage broke down, and many other isolated times in his life.
Call to action:
A) Spend time eating a meal each day with a family member or pet? (so long as they don’t eat all your food).
B) Eat in a rested state, not eating in the car, or running from meeting to meeting;
– one you do not even taste the food as you gulp it down;
– secondly your body is on alert while driving, and the body will not digest while being alert.
(this causes your body to store food, not process it, creating excess body fat and more cell damage).
C) Family time or sharing time with others each week, to help reduce stress, to feel apart of a friendship group or team, so that you release oxytocin (love hormone), that helps to balance other hormones, such as progesterone (happy hormone).
D) Watch a funny youtube video or something that will give you a good laugh. Wayne had the most contagious laugh ever xo
E) Turn off social media/technology at least twice a week (hopefully more often) and spend time with a person, in person.
Try to reconnect in the ‘original way’, not in the ‘new way’ of ‘following’ or ‘liking’ someones post.
Get away from your touch screens and actually hug someone, look at someones face to feel or see their emotions.
Human beings belong in tribes, not just in ‘group chats’…
Don’t do what Wayne and I have done, and that’s to continue a habit of not sitting with your family for dinner, and letting life or work get in the way.
Happy for sharing ideas on what helps your family bond… tell us your tribes favourite things to do..
